Friend with Benefits: Part 1

That title sounds inappropriate, doesn't it? What if that was how we described marriage?

Mark Driscoll did a series on relationships. The first message is about friendship in marriage.
//Edit: I was going to post about it. But before I could I had to post this. And this has been in my drafts for a while. Together it would make a very long post.

Now I ain't close to being married. Not even close to close. One gift of singleness is doing my research though. (Sound romantic? Haha.) That consists a lot of asking outside sources about singleness, dating, and marriage. Mostly, though, it means I'm learning more about myself and my dating pattern, attitude about singleness, etc.

Beware of vulnerability coming. This is who I used to date:



I dated the non-"nice guy" then question why that's all I could find. As if it was happening TO me and I wasn't an active force in it. Common Christian fix? Make a list of qualities you want in a spouse and don't stray from it. Well I think before that list is made I should make a list of qualities I want to BE in a spouse! (If that's even God's will for my life.) Commence my resolution of 2011.

"#24: Pray that my heart will be changing to be more like Christ. Act on it in these specific areas: ... And pray, when the time is right, I will be attracted to someone who is SO FAR from what I HAVE dated that I am able to recognize the change that has happened in my heart. Thank God for it endlessly." (I like to pray very specifically sometimes because then when God answers that prayer it's just that much more miraculous.)

The point of this is I have spent a lot of time trying to learn what a Biblical relationship looks like. A good thing, right? But it wasn't until a while back I noticed how the men I was attracted to were a DIRECT reflection of the condition of my heart. Scary huh? (Well it's pretty elementary stuff in any Psych class, it's just not something we want to admit is true or something that can be fixed through prayer, discipline, and God's Word. It can.) The only thing that makes this blog worthy and not just for my journal is I wish more girls would understand this. I wish it were public and talked about.

“This starts when you’re single. Only dating someone who’s friends with Jesus and then becoming friends with them and building that relationship on those two friendships." - Mark Driscoll


Angela