Disappointment

I'm applying for my school's Bachelor of Social Work program this week. I have to write an essay on why I want to be a social worker, which terrifies me. Every semester the first day of class professors take time to get to know everyone. We say what population we want to work with and why we chose Social Work as our major. I'm afraid I'm almost always a disappointment to the class.

The most common answer is "I just want to help people." Followed closely by "I had an abusive past and/or childhood." I say, "Well...I don't want to be a social worker." Then hurry to explain to a room full of secular social workers what I do see myself doing. And people get very confused. It's always a challenge to explain that for me secular social work doesn't make sense.

My plan, God willing, would include being a missionary internationally or in the urban poor of the United States. It would include intentionally seeing motherhood and marriage as joyful "full time position" (put as professional as possible haha). I would live incarnationally among the poor. Not drive in from my white middle-class neighborhood to the Missouri DFS and work in a cubicle with other privileged women with their MSW who complain about the work piling on their desk.

Through prayer and community in the social work department, though, I have been able to meet people who understand and receive some affirmation. In fact most recently I met a professor who took some kind of interest in me. We met in her office and talked about my bad grades. (I'm just really bad at school in general.) I told her my mind is often elsewhere and I'm not excited about social work like other people are. She asked what I saw myself doing in ten years and I told her that previous described picture. Her response? "Well good thing you're majoring in social work." Good thing? Yeah right.

Needless to say it took a lot of confused looks and patience on my part to finally understand what she meant. She's a Christian with the NASW in mind, not necessarily missions. However, she knew before I did that if I want to serve people and work for the marginalized and overlooked what better place for me to be in than this one? Touche.

This week has had a lot of answer to prayer in some of the most unexpected places. I'm just fine with that.

"I just want to help people"...know Christ's love,
Angela