It's true. This is a cry of joy from me because I have discovered something wonderful.
After being in California for 6 months I was convinced I hated Los Angeles and loved St. Charles. I came home, rejoiced for a quick minute then went back to school in Springfield. I was too happy to miss California for a while. Then one day.. I wanted Boba. I realized I can't find it here. And I started thinking of all the things LA had that SGF doesn't. And I was caught in a very sad mix of emotions.
2 Sundays ago I was back in church in St. Charles listening to my pastor. He told a story of how he came here from Canada and when he passed over the Mississippi and Missouri river he was ecstatic! He was so happy to see such majestic and historic rivers! And now, when he thinks of the river it means he's making a long drive. "Familiarity breeds discontentment," he said. And he was saddened to realize how true that is with our faith.
"Familiarity breeds discontentment" - Terry Sanderson
I got back to Missouri and when I would miss California I would be so confused because I remember how much I hated it. But then I'd think of how close I came to God and I love it and I'd wonder what ever happened to me there that actually HELPED my relationship with God.
Immediately a lightbulb went on and I was almost in tears.
When I understood how scared, homesick, and lost I was in LA, I had NO choice but to rely on God for comfort. I had no person near me who "knew what I meant" ever. I had nobody to relate to when I felt excluded. I had God, though. And I was constantly meditating on how He is my Comforter. He is my ultimate Home and the Holy Spirit calls me home.
What I love more than the good things about Los Angeles and even more than St. Charles (which is pretty hard to beat) is being that intimate with Christ. I don't know how to keep that going every day of my life, but I want to. Being unfamiliar and feeling like you have nothing makes you depend on God so much more.
Now I'm learning to be grateful I'm somewhere comfortable with people I identify with. But I won't let myself forget how much I need to identify with Christ more.
Somedays I'm restless because I crave a California things and my friends there.
Most days I'm so happy to be here that I don't ever want to leave. It's really causing me to be anxious about my future and my plans. It's led me to be praying for peace that passes understanding, though. And that's what I'm focusing on. :)
Jehovah Shalom,
Angela
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