"Feelings"

One time as I talked about something I felt I used air quotes. I said ".. I feel like.." And as I uttered the word "feel" used my fingers to air quote the word.

I'm not sure why this happened. I still have no good answers. All I know is I am really bad at feelings. Or talking about them. And recognizing my own.

My cousin Joe is an amazing writer. He has a blog that I love following. Recently he posted about moving on. He said something that really struck me.

"This may sound like the ramblings of an idiot but many of you have felt the same way I am sure. It is a feeling almost like survivors remorse. Thank goodness I made it through that terrible situation, but why me? Why am I ok with being like this? I shouldn't be this happy this soon."

I was broken up with a while ago. Growing up in Christian community the first action I'm "supposed" to take is a dating fast, obviously! I'm supposed to contemplate that God might have me be single for life. Then I'm supposed to declare I'm no longer dating but courting. All the while I'm supposed to seclude myself and take time to evaluate my strengths and weaknesses in dating life. Well.. ya know what? If ya knew the whole story of that relationship it would make more sense. But I'm not here to tell it. I just think.. I feel fine. Knowing that I'm bad at "feelings" I question that every day.

I've prayed, and sought counsel. Sought counsel then prayed some more. Studied God's word and asked anyone for any advice. All I can come up with is I'm fine. I expected to be distraught and depressed. I expected to hate men for a while and have to "learn to be happy single." Quite honestly, I am happy. Not that I'm any Yoda, but I have enough years to know myself in this area. And I can't bring myself to do any of the typical church kid response to this break up. I am fine. I'm not putting off dating for a year. I'm not scared to be in another relationship. But still all I can think of often is "I shouldn't be this happy this soon." - Joe.

Single and ready to...somethin,
Angela

His post:
http://followaregularjoe.blogspot.com/2011/11/moving-on.html?spref=bl